DC Mamta Nokes
Inclusion officer (DEI Team)

Who am I, and what factors have shaped my identity?

I’m a 54-year-old Asian woman of Hindu origin, born in Kenya to Indian parents who moved to the UK in 1970. Growing up in Nottingham, I navigated the challenges of being the first generation of British Asians in a predominantly white middle-class Catholic school. 

My upbringing was deeply rooted in Indian traditions, from weekends at the temple to learning Hindi, classical dance and music. 

As a teenager I fiercely rebelled against my Indian identity, yet constantly felt guilty for not being the “good Indian daughter” I believed my parents wanted. It was like being two different people and I’d no idea who I really was or wanted to be.

However, I knew education was my path to freedom, so I worked hard and was able to break free from my conflicting cultural expectations, by going to university. 

After starting a career in HR, I joined the Police at age 27. Those early years working long shifts in front line roles as part of close-knit teams, gave me a sense of family and belonging I had not experienced before, and which was a very special time for me.

Later in my career, life took a challenging turn when I separated from my husband and became a single mother. I felt as though I had failed and struggled with depression, compounded by feelings of guilt. This took its toll on my body, and I became physically ill and had to take some time out.

This was a real low point in my life. I realised that I’d been trying to be the perfect mum and strong capable career woman and to match up to what I felt was expected of me. I was constantly trying to fit in and be like everyone else, and giving the appearance that everything was okay, despite it being the opposite. I felt like I was living a lie.

From this point I sought out some counselling support, which really helped me set out on my journey of exploration, to discover of who I really was and to embrace who I am, what I want, and the realisation that it’s okay for me to be different to others.

When did you join policing, and what roles have you had?

I joined the Met Police in 1997 as a Detective Constable. My career began on the beat in Central London, but I quickly discovered my passion for detective work. 

Following a few years at a Borough policing level, where I experienced all aspects of CID learning the fundamentals and craft of being a good detective, I chose to move into more specialist roles

I initially joined the Department of Professional Standards Specialist Investigations Team, handling deaths following police contact and covert investigations.

This was an extremely fulfilling and rewarding role that gave me a new perspective on policing and allowed me to work on high-profile cases like the death of Jean Charles de Menezes, the London bombings, and an internal conspiracy to defraud the MPS.

Despite the challenges of this role, including being perceived as ‘the enemy’ by some officers and struggling to be taken seriously as a young female detective, I persevered and proved myself. 

This role exposed me to different aspects of Policing, where I was able to gain valuable experience and acquire expert skills; briefing Senior Investigating Officers, Chief Prosecution Counsel and  IOPC Case leads, as well as working with other specialised units.

I was deployed as a Family Liaison Officer, which frequently placed me in challenging situations, particularly when dealing with families whose loved ones had died following police contact. This role taught me valuable lessons in communication, emotional intelligence, and empathy.

I also trained as an Advanced Exhibits Officer, often being called out day and night to attend horrific crime scenes, dealing with all aspects of Forensic examination and working closely with the Pathologist on post-mortems. 

From there, I moved to the Serious Crime Command, Homicide, and Major Investigation teams, where I needed to apply all my skills to investigating major crimes. 

However, following my separation and subsequent period of poor mental health, I chose to step back from frontline roles and transitioned to Forensic Imagery and Crime Training, where I discovered a passion for teaching, and the opportunity to fully utilise the breadth of experience I’d gained, to inform, engage and inspire others.

From Training I’ve now moved to my current role as Inclusion Officer within the DEI Team. This is where I’m now able to use my communications skills, together with both my professional and personal experiences as a woman of colour to connect and engage with a broad range of minority ethnic communities in Surrey, as we seek to build better community relations.

The theme for this year’s South Asian Heritage Month is #FreeToBeMe. What does “Free to Be Me” mean to you, and have you felt free to be your true self during your career in policing?

I believe “Free to Be Me” means living authentically, knowing your values, and setting personal boundaries. It’s about being true to yourself and not comparing yourself to others.

For much of my career, I don’t feel I’ve been free to be me. I was always focused on trying to fit in and be accepted, which meant suppressing my own identity. 

I remember one specific occasion during my early career working in Central London. My Governor asked me to cook a curry for my night shift team of 20 officers. I didn’t give it a second thought and happily cooked for everyone. Looking back, I realised that no -one else on the team had ever been asked to do this, but at the time I was delighted and didn’t question it as it made me feel accepted by the team.

I always feared standing out or being given any special treatment, so have always pushed myself harder to prove my worth and competence, especially when applying for roles in specialised depts which at the time were very male dominated. 

I couldn’t bear anyone to think or say that I only got the job because I am an Asian Woman, which is often what I believed other officers thought.

Even when I was given information about support schemes for minority ethnic officers, I dismissed them, because the thought of being singled out or given any special treatment seemed contrary to everything I was doing to be accepted and fit in. 

The reality was that I felt alone and isolated, because I couldn’t connect to either my cultural roots, my career, or my colleagues.

However, when I moved to Surrey Police I finally felt the time was right and I applied for a place on the P.A.L.S  programme, which is a personal and professional development scheme for minority ethnic officers led by Executive Coach, Ranjit Manghnani

Through this 6-month coaching programme, I began a journey of reflection, exploration and self-discovery, which is still ongoing.

One small aspect of this programme was reading Brené Brown’s excellent book Daring Greatly. This book had a profound impact on me, helping me question and explore who I truly am and what it means to be authentic to my own identity.

What have been your biggest achievements in policing?

One of my proudest achievements was serving as a Family Liaison Officer, providing support to families during the deeply challenging time of losing a loved one during police contact. These situations often involved high community tensions and emotional responses from the families, which needed to be handled with sensitivity and compassion. 

Even in the midst of the horrific circumstances and trauma the family was enduring, I was there with them, doing everything I could to support them. Despite the emotional toll of this role, there’s no greater feeling than knowing you’re making a difference. I felt this most profoundly when the family acknowledged my support in the eulogy of one victim.

Another significant achievement during my career was my time in the Department of Professional Standards, where I investigated misconduct, corruption, and fraud by police officers and staff. Despite the challenges and internal resistance associated with this role, I took great pride in upholding the highest standards of professionalism and holding others accountable.

Though it was one of the most demanding roles I’ve undertaken, I always felt fully supported, and it turned out to be one of the most fulfilling and happiest periods of my career. My efforts were further recognised with a judge’s commendation for my work.

A more recent achievement and career highlight has come from my role as a Trainer. Having the opportunity to share my knowledge, experiences, challenges, and even mistakes with the next generation of officers has been incredibly rewarding. As I approach the end of my career, I take pride in knowing that I’ve been able to make a lasting impact.

What would you consider the biggest barriers you’ve faced?

My biggest barriers have often been self-imposed, centred around self-limiting beliefs and the need to fit in. 

I realise I’ve always avoided opportunities that could have helped me grow, because I didn’t want to stand out or be seen as different. I never felt good enough or had the confidence in my ability. 

Recently I gave a presentation to staff and a Chief Officer approached me and ask why someone hadn’t coached or mentored me though my career. Reflecting on this I know that I would probably have rejected that level of support, as it would reinforce everything I didn’t want to be, singled out as different form my peers. 

As I’ve matured and learnt more about myself and started to explore my own identity, these insecurities are less, but I am left with some regret that I didn’t pursue promotion, as it would have given me more of a voice and platform, to make more of a difference.

What can policing do better to support Women of Colour in the service?

While there are numerous schemes and initiatives aimed at supporting women of colour, I believe there needs to be broader internal communication about these efforts. This would ensure that everyone understands their importance in building a police force that truly represents the communities we serve. Increased awareness could also help mitigate any negative perceptions or misunderstandings about certain individuals receiving ‘special treatment’ or privileges. 

Ideally, this will lead to a greater number of applicants to these schemes and a wider acknowledgment of the value they bring to our community as a whole.

One of the most crucial areas of change I believe we need to focus on, is developing a deeper understanding of the internal culture of the force from the perspective of our minority ethnic officers. 

For us to grow and develop more officers from minority ethnic backgrounds, it’s essential that as a force we start to see things from their point of view, recognising the cultural challenges, biases, and racism that still persists.

We must actively engage with the minority ethnic officers we currently have, to better understand their experiences. By listening and learning from their lived experiences, we can work to dispel myths and build greater engagement, empathy, and trust.

Through this approach, I believe we can start to attract, engage, and retain more minority ethnic officers, making our force more effective, inclusive, and relevant.

I hope that by sharing my story, it may resonate with others who might relate to my experiences and have felt the same way. Hopefully they too will discover that it’s truly okay to be different!